Growing up, both of us always knew we wanted to be dads and build a family. One of the things that truly drew us together was this shared dream—the desire to nurture, love, and guide children of our own. In our early twenties, we embraced our independence fully. We traveled the world, chasing adventures and collecting experiences that felt limitless. But eventually, the longing to start a family became impossible to ignore.
We quickly realized that our journey to parenthood would be unlike most. Adoption was an option we considered, and we understood the concept of surrogacy—but the details were overwhelming. Like any curious millennials, we dove into the endless world of Google research. Innocent curiosity, however, quickly spiraled into a rabbit hole of questions, challenges, and emotions.
Ready or not, we knew we wanted a baby in our arms. As a gay couple, our path to fatherhood wasn’t going to be simple. While adoption was appealing, the pull to have a biological connection to our children was strong. That meant navigating the world of egg donors, IVF, and surrogacy—a process layered with complex medical procedures, legal paperwork, and significant financial hurdles. Living in a conservative state with a predominantly Mormon population added its own challenges, and we quickly understood that our path would require patience, persistence, and a lot of determination.
Finding a surrogate proved far more difficult than we anticipated. Time and again, potential surrogates declined because of our sexual orientation. Around this time, we also learned that a Utah legislator was attempting to change surrogacy laws to explicitly exclude same-sex couples. Suddenly, the urgency became real. Legal protections for us were limited, and certain requirements, like being married, added another layer of time-sensitive pressure. We had to act fast. Plans for a spring wedding were shelved, and we rushed to the courthouse. In a small ceremony with only our moms and Jeffrey’s sisters present, we exchanged vows in front of a judge we’d never met. It wasn’t the dream wedding we imagined, but at that point, becoming parents mattered far more than the perfect celebration.
After persistent searching, patience, and perseverance, we finally found a potential surrogate who seemed like the perfect match. After being turned down by over thirty-five women, we connected with a single mom willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to help us become parents. But the journey wasn’t smooth. Preparing a gestational carrier’s uterus for embryo transfer is medically complex, and heartbreakingly, her chances of conceiving were low. We had to start over, searching for another surrogate who could help us achieve our dream. That’s when we met Julie.
Our first meeting over lunch with Julie and her husband was effortless. The connection was immediate. We moved through the preliminary steps quickly, and as medications and procedures began, hope grew. Yet, history seemed to repeat itself. Julie faced similar medical challenges, and doctors warned us the chances of success were small. Still, we held onto hope. Two perfect embryos were implanted—one biologically connected to Bryce, the other to Jeffrey. Then came the longest wait of our lives.
Weeks of anticipation later, bloodwork confirmed what we dared to dream: we were pregnant. And not with just one baby—Julie was carrying twins! The pregnancy proceeded without major complications, but around Julie’s 34-week mark, we received a 3 a.m. call that changed everything. We rushed to the hospital to meet our children, emotions running high, hearts full. By now, we had developed an unbreakable bond with Julie, viewing her as nothing short of heroic. She labored and delivered our twins naturally, without medication—a true act of love and bravery.
After two to three rounds of medication to prepare Julie’s uterus for transfer, success finally came. On November 27, Larue (Rue) and Ridge were born—premature but resilient. Rue weighed just over four pounds, Ridge just over six. They spent about two weeks in the NICU, learning to breathe and eat on their own. For us, the transition from a “normal” life to raising twins was a shock. Unlike a nine-month pregnancy, we hadn’t experienced the slow physical and emotional preparation of gestation. Suddenly, two tiny humans were our whole world.
Life with twins has tested us in ways we couldn’t have imagined. Sleep deprivation is relentless, date nights are scarce, and patience is often thinner than we’d like. Our marriage has evolved and adapted under the weight of new responsibilities. Yet, each day, we find moments of joy, laughter, and connection that make it all worthwhile.
Now just over six months old, Rue and Ridge are thriving—learning to sit, crawl, and discover their voices. We’re finding routines that work for all of us while embracing the chaos and beauty of family life. Julie remains a cherished part of our lives, a constant reminder of the love and sacrifice that made our family possible. Her generosity gave us a gift that can never be repaid.
Our journey hasn’t been without adversity. We’ve faced hate in public, harsh messages on social media, and the occasional awkward comment meant with good intentions. Yet, the love surrounding our family far outweighs the negativity. Salt Lake City, Utah, may seem unlikely to raise a family as gay dads, but it is home. The support, connection, and community here have been a lifeline.
As parents, we want what every parent wants: our children to grow up safe, loved, and happy. Our path may be different, but our goal is universal. We hope to teach Rue and Ridge acceptance, compassion, and courage—to help them face adversity with confidence. Together, we’re redefining what it means to be a family. Love is love, and that’s what matters most. Being gay is only one part of our story; it is not all that defines us. We are a family. We are dads, husbands, and so much more—and we are profoundly grateful for every moment of this journey.
