Early Fertility Challenges
“When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a mom. I imagined a home alive with laughter, little feet pattering across the floor, family movie nights, and the joy of holidays spent together. I pictured a house full of love, chaos, and warmth—a life I couldn’t wait to live. At the time, I had no idea that the journey to make that dream a reality would be so emotionally and physically exhausting, full of heartbreak, hope, and resilience.
In my late teens, annual check-ups began showing abnormal results. After months of monitoring, countless biopsies, and additional procedures, I received a diagnosis that shook me to my core and led me to an oncology office. My oncologist—gentle, compassionate, and understanding—was a beacon in a frightening time. She was my second opinion; the first oncologist we visited had been harsh, blunt, and utterly lacking in bedside manner. That experience taught me early on the importance of advocating for myself, especially in the face of life-altering medical news.
After reviewing my reports, my new doctor explained that I had a high level of pre-cancerous cells in my cervix. I would need procedures to remove them, but she reassured me that preserving my fertility was a priority. Even as a teenager, I knew motherhood was part of my future. Over the next few years, I underwent multiple procedures, nearly quarterly, and each time my results improved. Eventually, the pre-cancerous cells were gone, and to this day, my results have remained normal.
The bittersweet reality, however, was that these procedures made my cervix incompetent, meaning my chances of carrying a child naturally were slim. My heart sank, but I held onto hope. With modern science and technology, I believed there was still a path to motherhood.
Family Planning
I met my husband in the fall of 2011 at a joint bachelor and bachelorette party thrown by our best friends. From the moment we connected, it was effortless—we laughed, shared dreams, and fell in love quickly. He was kind, funny, and family-oriented, and I knew early on that he was the one I wanted to build a future with. Despite living three and a half hours apart, we spent every possible weekend together, moved in together in 2012, and got engaged in 2014.
From the beginning, we spoke openly about our shared dream of having a family. By the time we married in 2015, we were ready to begin trying for a child. My husband came from a large, supportive family, while my own fertility history, though mostly unknown to me before, was a quiet concern I carried.
Given my past medical history and the lack of success conceiving naturally, we made an appointment with a fertility specialist just three months after our wedding. We didn’t want to wait; the desire to grow our family felt urgent. We hoped for what some call ‘unexplained infertility,’ believing that if nothing was wrong, maybe we could conceive with minimal intervention.
Testing was a mix of hope and heartbreak. Blood work, ultrasounds, and sperm analysis were manageable, but some procedures left me in tears. Still, I pushed forward, determined to pursue motherhood no matter the pain. Our first intrauterine inseminations (IUI) failed, as did the subsequent attempts. We knew it was time to move to in vitro fertilization (IVF).
IVF Journey
Switching clinics gave us renewed hope. Our first egg retrieval yielded six embryos, four of which were normal, one mosaic, and one abnormal. The first frozen embryo transfer (FET) ended in heartbreak—a negative result. How could a healthy embryo not take? We were devastated, questioning ourselves, our bodies, and even our worth. Fertility treatments are grueling—daily hormones, injections, and emotional strain—but we persevered.
The following month, during another FET, we finally got the call we had been waiting for: a positive pregnancy test. I was overjoyed. Ultrasounds at six and eight weeks showed our little one’s heartbeat, and for the first time, I felt hopeful. Then, in the middle of the night, I began bleeding. Panic and fear overtook me. We went to the ER, reassured that the baby was okay—but the next day, I learned we had miscarried. Our world shattered.
Another FET, another negative. Another egg retrieval, more embryos, more hope. Finally, I became pregnant with our daughter, and for a moment, we allowed ourselves to believe. But our hope was met with another miscarriage, this time requiring surgical intervention. I sank into a dark depression, realizing IVF offered a chance, not a guarantee. I was exhausted, heartbroken, but not ready to abandon my dream of becoming a mom.
Looking Into Adoption
My husband and I had long discussed adoption as a path to building our family. We dedicated ourselves to learning everything we could, ultimately deciding on domestic infant adoption. The process began with a home study, where a social worker reviewed our backgrounds, home, medical history, and personal references. Once approved, we opted for an adoption consultant to increase our chances of a quicker match.
Each ‘expectant parent situation’ we reviewed carried the potential for heartbreak. Many times, we were passed over, and our hearts broke with each ‘no.’ We kept going, driven by hope and the unwavering belief that our child was out there.
Then, in October 2020, an email arrived with the subject, “Urgent – Baby Born.” A baby had entered the world, and the birth mom was considering her match. I submitted our profile immediately, excitement mingled with caution. That weekend, during a photo session at the beach, my phone rang—the agency called: we were parents to a beautiful baby boy. The moment we met him was magical, overwhelming, joyful, and everything we had hoped for after years of waiting and heartbreak.
Becoming a Mom
Motherhood has been the most challenging journey of my life, but also the most rewarding. The road tested my resilience, my heart, and my hope, yet every step led me to my son. I am endlessly grateful not only for him but also for his birth mom, who entrusted us with this incredible gift. Our family has grown, not just through love for our son, but through the gratitude and respect we hold for the woman who made our dream possible. Being a mom has been everything I imagined and more, and I carry the lessons of perseverance, hope, and gratitude with me every single day.”
