In July 2020, my life changed forever. To our absolute surprise, we found out we were expecting a baby. From the very moment I saw that positive test, an overwhelming love bloomed inside me—a love I had never experienced before. I was about to become a mother, nurturing a tiny human who would soon fill my world with joy. I imagined every little detail: would it be a daughter or a son? On March 5, 2021, our beautiful daughter, Lilliana Veronica Grace, came into the world, and I felt my life was finally complete… or so I thought.
By the time Lilliana was just 13 weeks old, her father told me he was leaving us. Initially, he blamed financial pressures, struggling to manage the house while I was on maternity leave. But three weeks later, he admitted the truth: he had fallen out of love. I was completely devastated. We had shared 14 years together, 13 of them as a couple, built a beautiful family home, rescued a lively dog from the RSPCA, and now had our precious daughter. I thought our family was enough, but apparently, it wasn’t.
Before Lilliana’s arrival, I had no idea there were any cracks in our relationship. He was loving, affectionate, and generous. We had a great connection, I was staying active and healthy, and everything seemed perfect. But after having a baby, everything changed. My world no longer revolved around him—I had become the mother of his child. He couldn’t accept that I sometimes wanted to hold Lilliana instead of being held by him, that I didn’t have time to clean or keep up appearances the way I used to, and that I had gained four stone after giving birth. I can’t help but feel these were the reasons he fell out of love, though I was never given a clear explanation. Within four weeks of leaving, I discovered he had been with another woman—a betrayal that, surprisingly, gave me the closure I needed to move forward.
Being a new mom is a challenge unlike anything else. Every part of your life changes—physically, mentally, and emotionally. When Lilliana naps, I must decide whether to rest myself, clean, shower, do the laundry, or eat. I’m blessed that my mom helps by looking after Lilliana, but often I use that time to organize the house or run errands. Self-care becomes a luxury, and long, relaxing baths are at the bottom of the priority list. Right now, I can spend all my time with Lilliana, but the thought of returning to work fills me with anxiety. Do I go back full-time, find a part-time role, or take a career break? I’ve worked so hard to get where I am professionally, but Lilliana comes first—always.
Fast forward two months, and I truly feel like a new woman. Before I met my ex, I lived at home with my parents, spent weekends partying, went to the gym six days a week, and spent freely without a care. Now, I’ve stayed in our family home and transformed it into a place that feels truly mine. Fresh paint, new decorations, and small personal touches have made it a beautiful, welcoming space. Even amidst heartbreak and the challenges of raising Lilliana alone, I’ve managed to maintain a warm, happy home. I’m embracing my post-baby body, working to shed some weight, and learning to accept this new version of myself. It may never look or feel like it did before, but it’s the strongest, most authentic version it can be—because I carried my daughter for nine months, and every mark on me tells that story.
Right now, my focus is on finding myself as a mom—and as a single mom, which I never imagined I would have to become. But I’m proud of everything I’m already achieving for Lilliana. I come from a line of strong women: my Nan faced her own battles, living with Alzheimer’s dementia now, but I know she would be proud of me. My mom raised me and my sister alone after my father left when I was two and my sister was just 12 weeks old. She worked double shifts, often multiple jobs, to provide for us, and now she reminds me that the greatest strength comes from the love in your child’s eyes. Lilliana gives me that strength every day—the reason I wake up, breathe, and keep moving forward.
I am determined to show my daughter what it means to be resilient, independent, and proud of who you are. For anyone going through something similar, whether you are expecting a little one or navigating life as a new parent, remember this: you are stronger than you know, and you’ve got this.
